‘Stranger Things’ Theory: Eggo Waffles Are The Best


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Part of the joy of binge-able TV shows is letting them consume you for a few days — allowing your brain to wander down rabbit holes and traverse a hyper-detailed landscape. Stranger Things is ace at this. It’s been the source of some of the best fan theories and “did you catch that” visual references since Breaking Bad. Is Eleven actually the monster? Maybe. Are those synths in the soundtrack as fresh as mountain strawberries? No doubt.

This morning, National Waffle Day, brings the hottest theory of them all. A theory that will not only revolutionize how we view the show, but also how we eat. It’s a testament to the Duffer brothers and their ability to deftly weave together delicate strands to form a complicated web.

Here it is:

Eggo waffles are the best.

Mind blown? Worldview expanded? Has your understanding of culture shifted? Because this theory is 100 percent on point.

I’ll break it down. I’ve written about food for a long time and sometimes feel territorial when people who haven’t been fully immersed in that world talk about it with authority (Jesus, do I hate it when people talk trash about ketchup as if it’s some accepted fact). But this is only because I have a delicate ego. In truth, it’s easy to write about food: eat a lot, figure out what you like, string together sentences about it. Eventually and inevitably, your palate will develop and you’ll have a better feel of nuance. Texture matters. Flavor profiles become a real thing that you can pick up on. Balance gains importance in “what you like” and you start to skew away from pure umami bombs.

For the most part, food is like sex — you can wax philosophic all day but there are only a handful of rankings needed:

  • I think I might be sick.
  • Lousy.
  • Could have been a lot better, but I’m still satisfied.
  • 7/10. I’d like to have this experience again.
  • Oh my god, I must tell everyone I meet about this! I wonder if my body will cooperate if I try to have more of this in 10 minutes!

Eggos deserves that last, ecstatic designation. They are the ultimate “back in the day” food because they’re still good when you’re no longer back in the day. Kraft Macaroni & Cheese can almost pull this off. Frozen burritos and Dino Nuggets fail miserably. No wonder Eggos were the brand Eleven chose to obsess over — Stranger Things is all about celebrating the best of our nostalgia while ignoring the worst of it.

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