You would think a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship would be the best of both worlds. You get to still have your good friend, but now you get to hook up with them with ‘no strings attached’. It’s what everyone wants, a ‘stable’ relationship where no one gets hurt because your friend would never ever want to hurt you. Right?
But in fact, a friends with benefits relationship is anything but stable. And it’s anything but smart.
In the movies, they always try to romanticize this type of relationship. They show the girl ‘friend’ falling for the guy immediately after they hook up for the first time. And then they show the boy ‘friend’ pulling back, trying to act like they don’t have feelings because that would be against the rules. And then, they usually end up professing their love to one another and live happily ever after.
But real life doesn’t work that way.
You think you could never have romantic feelings for your friend until the adrenaline starts going and your hormones start racing all over the place. And sometimes you are going to be the only one with feelings. And whats going to happen now? You’ll lose that friend.
And if you have zero feelings but he starts getting butterflies when he’s in your presence? You’ll lose that friend.
Obviously, there are rare occurrences where you could fall in love. It’s not completely off the table. But, this is something that doesn’t typically happen anymore. That’s why the movies have to make it up for us.
Having a friends with benefits relationship will only make you feel worse about yourself. It’s not going to be liberating, or freeing. It’s going to hurt, no matter what happens. Wouldn’t you rather keep that friendship and leave it platonic? Wouldn’t you rather not potentially ruin a great friendship?
And wouldn’t you rather date someone who loves you and doesn’t just want to kiss you when they get lonely?
Don’t waste your time. Don’t kid yourself to think that neither of you will start getting feelings. It’s not worth the kisses or the secretive nights out. It’s not worth the loss of your friend. Or even worse, it’s not worth the loss of yourself.
So, don’t follow the path Hollywood wants you to take. Don’t give into moments of pleasure. Find someone who wants to date you, not just hook up with you. Find someone who wants to love you instead of make out with you at parties just for the sake of it.
You are worth more than a friends with benefit relationships. You are worth more than drunken lip locking kisses. You deserve more than just a friend. You deserve someone who stays. Who is your best friend and your lover.