Sure, Instagram might seem like a place to express yourself and share the things you love with friends and family, but it is not. For college girls, it is a place dictated by unspoken dos and don’ts to follow blindly. Who initially decided that we must not post four pictures of the beach in a row? Who knows, but we’re sure as hell not going to do it.
1. You can post a maximum of one Instagram per day. Exceptions can be made for major life events like weddings, graduations, and avocado toast.
2. Do not over-edit your posts. Everyone knows what those weird squiggly lines are from on the wall behind your butt, Bethany. J-Lo doesn’t even look like that. Stop.
3. You can only post an Instagram with a Significant Other (or “bae”) if you are actually official. No, 3 AM texts asking “r u up” do not count, even if they sometimes text you the next day.
4. You can only post selfies if you are showcasing a drastically new look, like bangs.
5. You must have more followers than you are following.
6. Keep birthday post captions under two lines long. No one needs to know how Karen totally helped you through your breakup with “the ex” (omg remember that Karen?? haha).
7. Instagrams of people always get more likes than Instagrams of places and things (except the aforementioned avocado toast).
8. Do not follow more than three food-related accounts at once. Everyone can see when you follow @betcheslovecheese, @burratagram, and @wholycheezus all in a row.
9. You can only use one filter on a single Instagram. Pick either Valencia or Amaro, you don’t get both.
10. Don’t post solo bikini shots.
11. Don’t post bikini shots where you look ten times better than your friends in the picture. This is also a violation of girl code (which remains unspoken, sorry).
12. Furthermore, it is only socially acceptable to post a #TBT of you in a bikini if it is for a birthday (provided the birthday girl looks as good as you do) or if you are with a dog.
13. In fact, having an animal with you in an Instagram makes any obvious self-promotion kind of okay.
14. Do not post more than three Instagrams from a single vacation or event. You went to Cabo, we get it.
15. You can’t get mad at a SO for following @TFMgirls, but you can get mad if they do not like your Instagram.
16. Do not post too many solo shots in a row.
17. You must like every Instagram any BFF posts, even if said Instagram violates one of the above (formerly) unspoken rules. Girl code > all.