How To Sext Each College Major

22 Jump Street

I don’t want to freak you out or anything, but you remind me so much of Vonnegut.

Pick out modulations, write out chord progressions, isolate vocals, harmonize and chill?

Wanna come over and look at some Excel sheets with me and drink?

Okay so tell me what’s wrong with Amy Schumer.

[all communications majors are athletes who had to declare in order to graduate. i shall not be convinced otherwise.]


Wanna play doctor? Come over.

Real talk: what do you actually think about Universal Healthcare and how would we be able to functionally make that happen in the US? Explain.

Forget the facts, what do you think about [insert thing they reported on that you clearly, thoroughly read here]?

Fuck, marry, kill? Scorsese, Kubrick, or Hitchcock. And why?

Tell me why I’m wrong. In detail.

I think you’d make a really good mom/dad/parent…

What’s your catchphrase? Why should I buy you? Sell yourself, hon.

Why shouldn’t we hook up? Speaking in favor of our mental well being, of course.

What’s the first thing you’re going to do when AI takes over?

Actually…I disagree.
[And then just let it happen.]

I was just really feeling moved by [insert artist/movement/medium/details here] and I need to talk to someone about it.

Is it cliché to say “voulez-vous coucher avec moi”???
[feel free to adjust for the appropriate language]

….so how’ve you been lately? TC mark

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